Nice Guys Finish Writing Assignments Last

Ithaca, NY - Cornell University senior Ed Pak attributed his struggles to completing an 8:00 writing assignment to "being a nice guy." Pak was stuck cooking in a kitchen throughout the day on Sunday 3 or 4 days after Valentine's Day, in preparation for a Valentine's Day dinner for 7 of his female friends. When asked about the possible negative academic consequences of this gallant act, he shrugged, saying: "They say that nice guys always finish last... this only applies to my writing assignment this week. Right now, there are seven lovely ladies in my living room... what now, suckas!"