Student’s Amazed as Job Offers “Poof” Out of Thin Air

Ithaca, NY- Student’s this recruiting season are having different reactions than in years past. This year recruiters are extending job offers to many students to who manage to just sound like they know what they’re talking about in their interviews. In fact, they’re giving offers on the spot, in the interview, relieving anxious seniors from the anxiety of waiting for that phone call or email. Senior Mike Yaright exclaimed “I went into my interview and told him all about the business I run after class from my dorm room, and how I volunteer for charity every other weekend and he told me he heard enough and wanted me to start 2 weeks after graduation. I’m stoked, and they pay isn’t bad either.”

Other students have had the same response. Jill Blah, the COO of the “Student’s for a Sustainable Slope” exclaimed, “All I said was that I was a people person who likes to work with people, and they had me sign the offer right then and there.”

Academics campus-wide are trying to put their finger on why there seems to be such a different spin on recruitment this year. Cornell human resources professor Alidad Akabar reasoned that “companies are now more concerned with fulfilling their diversity accounts because of the number of discrimination lawsuits. They love Cornell because they can hire for diversity and still be assured that they will have the skills they need to do the job.” Akabar went on to reason that due to the innate ability of students at Cornell, it is a more “shore shot bet” to scoop up Cornellians than from elsewhere.

A representative of McDonald’s Corporation, one of the company's who have been recruiting on CornellTrak said “We want all and any Cornell student’s as possible. We need diverse leaders, and by hiring anyone from Cornell who shows interest, we expand diversity right there.”

Cornell University Officials are claiming this is good publicity for the University. Head of campus recruitment Hoocha Dada has said “This is a great way to promote our university, any person, any study, a job. It’s a great selling point to prospective parents if we can assure that their kid’s just by going here will get a job. I’m loving it.”